If you have suffered marriage infidelity and your partner has cheated on you, don't believe him or her when they tell you "it was only sex". 99% of the time, this is a big fat lie. Your marriage is in deeper trouble than just the lack of sexual interest in each other.
Remember how you felt like dying the first time you found out your spouse was cheating on you? Can you recall how you felt like strangling him or her? And how strangely upset you were with yourself as well?
The truth is marriage infidelity occurs not just because you're not attracted to one another any more. In fact marriage infidelity tends to result from other more fundamental problems you are probably having and which you cannot seem to solve. Here are the things that could be really wrong --
- You are no longer in love with each other
- One of you or both of you has changed dramatically
- Your arguments and fights are never resolved and are piling up under the carpet
- One (or both) of you have let yourself go, you now look like your father or your mother
- You never spend time with each other any more, preferring to be with friends
Any one of these could have resulted in your husband or wife looking for "outside comfort". Do you see now why an extra-marital affair is never sex for sex's sake?
So what can you do? Can you try and salvage and save the marriage? You could certainly try but you're more than likely to fail miserably. The fact is half of all marriages end up in divorce today. It's not at all easy to save a marriage that's in trouble.
The good news is it can be done. There is good counseling help available. The bad news is it will cost you good money, unless you're willing to settle for an overworked church worker-cum-counselor. Plus, you will have to suffer the embarrassment of having to reveal to the world that your marriage is on the rocks.
Your best bet then is to get expert help in the form of e-courses or ebooks from the Internet. Quite a number of professional counselors have put their material online to help couples in trouble to help themselves discretely at home and without having to re-mortgage the house to pay for therapy sessions.